Romans 1:12 ‘When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.’
Kia Ora Bay Kids Whanau,
Here are some of my notes from my recent Vineyard Conference Workshop on Discipling our Children. This is a bit longer than my usual Family Discipleship Email format, and you’ll likely recognise my familiar favourite things - kind of like my ‘Greatest Hits playlist’, but listen again and be encouraged, inspired, and revitalised as we go into Term 4 together.
THERE’S NO JUNIOR HOLY SPIRIT:
The phrase “There’s no junior Holy Spirit” comes from John Wimber and his teaching in the Vineyard movement that emphasises that children and young people have full access to the Holy Spirit—the same Spirit adults do. That there isn’t a “smaller” or “weaker” version of the Holy Spirit for kids; That God gives His Spirit to all who believe, regardless of age. This guards against sidelining our children and seeing them as “not ready yet” for ‘real’ ministry or a ’real’ relationship with Jesus.
The biblical foundations for this are found from the Old Testament to the New Testament:
Joel 2: 28 (and then echoed in Acts), “Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions…”
1 Samuel 3: Where God calls Samuel as a boy and Eli frames this up for him so well (vs 7 - 10)
Samuel did not yet know the Lord because he had never had a message from the Lord before. So the Lord called a third time, and once more Samuel got up and went to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?” Then Eli realized it was the Lord who was calling the boy. So he said to Samuel, “Go and lie down again, and if someone calls again, say, ‘Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went back to bed.
And the Lord came and called as before, “Samuel! Samuel!”
And Samuel replied, “Speak, your servant is listening.”
Just think about the incredible implications of this moment as Samuel later leads God’s People and then anoints KIng David.
And Jesus’s stunning words in Matthew 19:14, “But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.”
SWIM BETWEEN THE FLAGS:
All of this gives us the permission, the mandate, the vision that we can encourage our kids to “do the stuff” - to pray for the sick, to listen for God’s voice, to read His word, and to expect them to experience the Holy Spirit.
And the reason that this is important is that we want them to be anchored in their Faith, tethered to something solid, something foundational, something real
As we disciple our children, the truth that we pass on to them provides the foundation, their base line
Proverbs 22: 6 says, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” This is wisdom, it’s not a self-protective mantra that forces an outcome. It’s wisdom to us as parents to direct our children, to show them the right path, seeking God’s Wisdom and God’s Will for themselves and hoping and praying that they hold onto it and find their way home. We can’t control the bit in the middle, it might get squiggly, it may not be precisely as we intended it or as prescriptive as we planned and dreamed but it will be a return point
In the same way as the ‘Swim between the flags message’ recognises that people in the water are particularly susceptible to currents and drift Hebrews 2:1 says, ‘So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.’ There is a truth that is needed.
Just as we are prone to drifting while swimming, where we need to stand up and look round and reposition ourselves, we need to give our children something to return to again and again
Colossians 1: 23 says, ‘But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News.’
Deuteronomy 6:4 - 9 says, “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
What an excellent framework this offers us for our discipling and parenting journey:
‘Repeat them again and again’ - it’s like he knew what our brains need
Talk about them at home, don’t outsource and limit discipling to just Sundays and Church, as good as it is
Normalise it - On the road, Going to bed, Getting up - it belongs in all the ordinary spaces
Write it everywhere - put it on the fridge, next to their bed
Commit to remembering it
FORMATIONAL PRACTICES IN REAL LIFE:
When we’re looking at Discipling our Children we're looking at Formation - particularly thinking of Formation as form-ing - in the continuous tense, ongoing and not instant, a process of shaping, re-shaping
Everyday practices that help form us, create us into becoming more like Jesus, resilient disciples
These are the areas of Formation I have identified for us at Bay Vineyard for our Bay Kids and our families, this time from the perspective of discipling children as parents:
Belonging and Community
And this can look like… (understanding that it’s life season dependent, but there’s always an on-ramp)
Attending church regularly
Becoming known on a smaller level - in groups, where you sit
Serving in the kids area
Making the most of the rich intergenerational treasures that are in our community
Seeing and experiencing Community as an antidote not just to loneliness and disconnection but as a recognised mental health tool for ourselves and our children
Prayer
There are so many different ways to pray - liturgy, drainpipe, prayer chair, finger prayers, Imaginative Prayer - Children can you hear me? Book, Brad Jersak
Pray for them
Pray together with them
Encourage them to Pray independently - let them use their simple, often direct and frank language, no fluff, no waffle, no buildup (like we’re prone to)
"The 5 Step Prayer Model for Kids". The basic steps are: Ask (how can I pray for you?), Invite (Holy Spirit, please come), Pray (Dear God, please help my friend), Check (What is God doing?), and Plan (Let's pray again sometime). These steps help children learn to discern God's leading and pray with compassion for others.
Thank God in the car
Bring your requests to him
Share your testimonies, your answers, your nearly answers, your tries, share when it works and when it doesn’t
Borrow liturgy, and the Psalms when you run out of your own words
Teach them to see the presence of God, that it’s fine to sit quietly and wait. Not being afraid of awkward prayer silence
Don’t be vague about this. Children need specifics if we are to avoid confusion.
Teach them to keep their eyes open and to watch for physical changes such as trembling, eyelids fluttering, swaying, breathing deepening, a peaceful glow, laughing, crying, falling, heat or coolness.
Teach them to look out for these things as a sign of the Holy Spirit. Teach them to enjoy and welcome his presence. Think of it as a ‘practice lab’.
Teaching Kids to Hear God Speak.
What we want to do is see our kids learn to hear God’s voice and realize how it most commonly comes to each of them. So we try all the ways in order to work out how it most naturally comes to you
You see it (a mental picture),
you hear it (audibly or in your mind),
you feel it (a sensation or pain which may show how God feels about a certain situation or indeed highlight a need for healing),
you know it (an overwhelming certainty about something),
or you say it (it comes out of your mouth before you even think about it).
The main thing is that they just have to deliver what God says and that’s all - drainpiping, start with Come Holy Spirit - no pressure, just invitation and relationship, patterning for future reference
Worship
Put the music on, experience the whole range with them, worship, contemplation, praise, sing-a-longs, actions, dancing, lullabies. Have favourite songs, use it as a weapon (you don’t have to use that language, but use it to change atmosphere in and out).
Scripture Memorisation
With a focus on remembering not memorizing - a subtle difference. We don't just memorise for the sake of competition or reward. The goal here is not to ‘parrot’ something back without context or understanding; but instead to deeply know Scripture as Truth, as a solid reference point in the midst of confusion and uncertainty.
Familiarise yourselves with scripture - a verse or two through repetition, actions, activities and sometimes just good old-fashioned yelling. Anything to help it get into our bodies, our hearts, and our minds.
Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”. We remember God’s words and then we carry them with us in our hearts. Beyond just knowing the Bible, we allow God's Word to be real to us, and present with us; His words change us, grow us, and strengthen us. Our Remember Verses are like little lights inside us, showing us the right way to go. When we remember what God says, it helps us make good choices and stay close to Him.
Formation is primarily about relationship. Formation practices reveal to us who God is and how He sees us. When our kids remember Scripture, they get to know more about who God is—His kindness, His power, and His love for them. This builds trust. This grows relationship.
Scripture Memorisation also shapes identity, and brings a tangible sense of belonging to God’s Kingdom. It is comforting in tricky times, and brings real peace.
I love knowing that the verses we help them learn now might stay with them for the rest of their lives. It’s one way we can keep pointing them to God, even when we’re not right there with them.
Biblical Literacy - the Meta-Narrative of Scripture
Making the Big God Story connections - avoiding stories in silos and moralism with stories focused on the hero only
Keep the thread of God's Big Story, Jesus the Rescuer, stories that point us to who God is
Bibles out and open and read
4 bible recommendations
The Tiny Truths Illustrated Bible, The Jesus Storybook Bible, God’s Big Picture Bible Storybook by N.T. Wright, The NIRV version - clear reading, for an 8-9 years reading age
Read the Bible To, With, and By. The same framework for literacy - Guided Reading, Shared Reading, and Independent Reading
Read the Bible like it's daily bread - One verse, seven verses, half a Psalm, some of a kids Bible story, most of a ripper of a yarn from the Gospels or with fear and trepidation a story from the Old Testament.
Embrace it with joy and questions and curiosity, practice not knowing answers, but holding onto the thread of God's Big Story. Don't over resource yourself, ignore Instagram and just keep talking about what you read, model it
Repetition is key
Bible Reflections
What was
Weird?
Wonderful?
What the heck!
Don’t be afraid to Nurture faith and Don't be afraid to welcome doubt
Doubt is not the opposite of faith,
Richard Rohr, In his book Falling Upward, describes faith and doubt as correlative terms, suggesting that doubt is necessary for intellectual breakthroughs and spiritual growth.
So get comfortable with something like, ‘Let’s ask the Holy Spirit for His wisdom and truth on this one…’
Mission / Justice / Generosity
The power of Gabriel, from the World Vision Chosen sponsorship scheme
The ownership and the power of one's own coins
A strong sense of justice at this age
A prayer focus
A way to see the need in the world, not too overwhelmingly, but as something we can do, someone we can connect to
The small things help us to make sense of the bigger things
But most importantly, lovely Bay Kids Whanau - Follow Jesus in the way that it looks for you and your family in your season, with your limitations, and your strengths, on your most ordinary days.
Happy Term 4. This year has gone fast. Thank you for your partnership in this Formation Journey with our children.
Arohanui
Charlotte